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Asyiqin Ridzwan
ASYIQIN RIDZWAN my real name. i'm a married girl. obsession into cupcake, fashion, writing, cooking (not a professional actually), make up and my family man, AHMAD FAUDZLI.
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SMILE

i just need a breath now
depan lappy
wanna share something story.
and suddenly, teringat suatu memori masa kecik-kecik dulu
it was just....hmmm~
once upon a time, when i was a kid
everytime when it's a rainy day
i'll be here in my window
waiting someone called SMILE
kalau rainy day, ini lah yang iqin buat
iqin akan jenguk luar tingkap
just wanna meet my SMILE
dan hujan tersangat lah lebat
rasa tenang bila tengok hujan nie
air hujan turun membasahi bumi
seolah-olah bersihkan jiwa iqin yang bercelaru and kebosanan
luckily, SMILE selalu ada disitu
i need him
i think i always need him
everytime
since i was child, SMILE mesti datang jenguk iqin 
SMILE macam faham hati iqin sangat rindukan dia
tapi most weird is, SMILE takkan datang kalau hujan tak turun that time
why?
hmmm..i dont know.
till now, i dont get any answer for it.
he just came around here to meet me and for once, he hold my hand
the way he knew me was so magical
one day, i'd got a leaf
that leaf terlekat at my window
and someone wrote to me on that leaf.."I C U"
the 1st thing i did, i smiled.
so that was the way he got his name
sejak tu, iqin dgn SMILE hanya dapat berjumpa bila hujan turun
i really really..dont know why.
yes i admit it's weird but it just happen.
but bila iqin dah pindah rumah, iqin dah tak pernah jumpa dia lagi
SMILE..gone forever.
and till now when i am 20 years old, i never met him. NEVER
sometimes, i really miss him.
wanna hold his hand again just like the past
but i know i will not


****

-it's very hard to tell the truth-
-but it's super duper hard for somebody who need to accept the truth-


****

SMILE was a friend of mine. a very special friend when i was a child.
iqin dah tak ingat sangat tentang SMILE rite now
coz he just like my angel. an unknown angel
actually, tiba2 teringat cite ni sebab here is a rainy day today
and i am alone in my room
then i just remember him as well
SMILE sebaya dengan iqin
that time, kami kenal bila iqin berusia 7-9 years old
(sorry i dont remember)
im not so sure whether SMILE tu existed human or not
maybe juga he was just my illusion
i mean, kid imagination lah.
SMILE seorang kanak-kanak lelaki yang sangat comel but too mysterious.
 and im pretty sure dia yang tulis daun 'I C U' tu.
tapi yang peliknya, die hanya jumpa iqin time hujan
dia akan tunggu iqin bukak tingkap and berdiri je kat bawah pokok jambu depan rumah iqin tu
that time iqin still a kid, so apa lah sangat kita nak pikir
apa yang iqin ingat,
after iqin tengok dia at window,
dia hanya berdiri tegak kat bawah pokok jambu tu
and always staring at me
he only gave me smiles
he never speak to me
but i cant remember too much now
last time iqin jumpa die, 
that time hujan lebat sangat-sangat
mama bising-bising suruh tutup tingkap sebab takut tempias
so iqin pun tutup tingkap bilik iqin
that time iqin jenguk ke luar and nampak dia dah ready tunggu iqin kat bawah pokok jambu tu
suddenly, he ran to me!
die hulur tangan dia masuk ke dalam thru the window
just wanna hold my hand
and i dont realized, it was for the last time ever.

****
now iqin dah grown up. im 20 now.
and im sure, SMILE pun dalam lingkungan umur yang sama dgn iqin
tapi sampai skrg iqin tak pernah jumpa dia lagi
till now, iqin still rasa lost something bila lalu kat bawah pokok jambu tu
bila iqin dah pindah ke rumah lain after 8 years, pokok tu just tinggal kenangan
tapi kan,
my bad, iqin lupa nak tanya nama dia
sebab SMILE tak pernah buka mulut bila jumpa iqin
and he was too weird.
a very mysterious boy
one day, iqin called mama by phone
tergerak hati nak tanya pasal benda2 camni
mama said,
"mata budak kecik nie halus. sebab takda dosa lagi. kadang2, budak kecik ni ada kawan die sendiri. sebab tu lah, kita selalu tengok budak kecik suka main sorang2, cakap sorang2, gelak sorang2."

oh sangat mendalam maksud mama tu.
i won't speak more.
maybe it was true
or maybe not.
wallahualam.





from deep of my heart, iqin.

xoxo









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ASYIQIN RIDZWAN

ASYIQIN RIDZWAN
" terima kasih kerana sudi singgah blog ini. jika suka saya, singgah lah membaca blog ini selalu ! sokongan dan perkongsian anda amat saya hargai. sekiranya anda ada pertanyaan lebih lanjut, boleh rujuk saya di Facebook :) "

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